At our local Whole Foods, there is a (long) line of parking spaces just outside the doors with signs that say "Preferred Parking for Parents of Young Children" and I think that's a lovely idea. On Wednesday night, a storm was coming in with a vengeance, I was headed to a Christmas party (alone, in girl shoes), and only one of the many spots was taken. So, I parked in one of the "special" spots so I could grab a bag of chips (because I bring the classy to every party I attend) and be on my way.
As I closed the car door, a woman came out with a baby in a car seat in her cart, and I flashed the woman an "awwww, sweet baby" smile. Her response (accompanied by a face so acidic I wished I had some baking soda so I could make the science fair volcano of my dreams), "I see you forgot your child, *ahem*." Fortunately, since I was headed to a holiday party I had been brushing up on my witty retorts and I responded with one of the following:
(a) No, I didn't, she's in the car. She should be fine because she has mama's crack pipe, some porn on the laptop, and a flask of gin.
or
(b) Oh, I remember when I had little babies. I was so sleep deprived and bitchy, just like you.
or
(c) My baby!?! A dingo ate my baby!
Winner gets a bag of chips and a lifetime pass to park in that lady's (11) parking spot(s).
PS: My shoes stayed dry, I got my chips, and I learned that the possibility of the arrival of 10 other babies in the middle of a blizzard, late at night, on a Wednesday, trumps my selfish need for dry feet. Consider me put in my place. Have fun talking about my misdeed in play group!
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