Next time you're stuck in the car on a hot day driving to one of the many things you do in the name of kid enrichment (or you know, that one thing you do for yourself like, *um* going to the grocery store or perhaps buying crickets), turn on the most idiotic pop-filled radio station in your area (that would be KISS FM around these parts), wait for a completely inappropriate or especially incomprehensible song to come on and make up new lyrics.
Today, we enjoyed a little Gaga and although it started innocently as a song of loss as a chimp's girlfriend decided she wanted to move in with a new orangutan boyfriend due to the cloying scent of her chimp beau's banana farts, it somehow deteriorated into an anthem about a bunny rabbit in a sparkly blue thong. When the kids got home, they each drew a picture illustrating the horror ("My eyes! my eyes! my eyes! my eyes! my eyes, my eyes, my eyes!"). I may share one... I may not. For now I'm pretty safe from social services' prying eyes (thanks to good ol' Crystal Meth and its afficianados) but a big ol' full color drawing of a thong-wearing rabbit here on el blog-o might just grab their attention. Trust me, though... it's fun! Try explaining away "Push It" in an uptight British accent someday... it might just cause chocolate shake to come out of your son's nose (you know, assuming your son is drinking a chocolate milkshake - if he isn't and it does... 20 bonus points to you!).
On another note, these:
taste like spicy vomit. Get 'em while they last!
And, for those (1, 2?) who read this post, may I say:
I hope this will make up for it:
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