Oh, Halloween...

Did you know that Halloween is now a several-week-long festivus? Apparently I was supposed to have candy corn in a cute little pumpkin-shaped jar waiting for my chipper little goblins every fall morning. It's so good to have an opinionated 7-year-old to lead me to the path of celebratory righteousness. Also, despite my complete lack of crafting skills every other day of the year, I'm supposed to be able to pull an adorable and not-made-with-duct-tape-and-wood-glue candy corn costume for A... by Sunday... because that's when she has her first trick-or-treating extravaganza of this year.

Grandma can you hear me? Hot diggity! She heard me!

Subtlety: zero

Other than being a little bit blindsided by this sudden adoration of what might just be the most disgusting candy known to humanity (save for Perky's Circus Peanuts... don't ask), I'm feeling a little bit overwhelmed by all of the activities surrounding this time of year. In years past, I remember trips to pumpkin patches, a little trick-or-treating, maybe a quick trip through some makeshift corn maze.

This year, however, Halloween is getting all orange and juiced up, much like one of those dudes from Jersey Shore. In Wal-Mart (a place where I do all my most rational thinking...) the other day I got all annoyed and wondered 'since when is a carved pumpkin and a full-family viewing of The Great Pumpkin not enough?' I kind of want to be whatever the Halloween equivalent of the Grinch is but I decided to embrace the ridiculousness of it all and go with the Snicker's-laden flow. C got an invitation to the local haunted house this Friday (right after a solo marimba performance for her fellow orchestra members and the donors and board of directors... this is the kind of duality that would make my head explode but apparently, to the mind of the 12-year-old girl, it's nothing worth writing home about. Now I'm just looking forward to finding out what outfit could possibly be appropriate for both occasions.) that was basically "meet in front of Dairy Queen, bring money and a change of pants." Good times.

We do have pumpkins thanks to the garden, and although they've been pretty thoroughly defaced with markers and stickers, they should still make some mighty nice Jack-o-lanterns after a good scrubbing. I'm actually looking forward to taking C and her group of 3 nearly lifelong buddies affectionately known as "the CHO" to the corn maze on the night before Halloween. Well, I'm looking forward to hanging out by the bonfire with some hot cider while the kids get their scare on... unless it's really cold, and then I look forward to sitting in the car, with my warm blankie and a thermos of something hot, occasionally checking in via cell phone to be sure the kids haven't lost any fingers or toes.

My point is this... as someone who dislikes the 6 week long commercial extravaganza that is Christmas in the modern age (and drags down anyone foolhardy enough to get too close anytime between Black Friday and January 2nd), loves fall weather, autumnal food, hot cider, and kids with flushed cheeks and pink noses, I'd better get to embracing Halloween and all that comes along with it (before C decides she needs to go to Hot Topic for some fishnets to complete her "look"). I'm not kidding myself, I know my days until Halloween = excuse to dress like a prostitute are numbered and for that reason and that reason only (plus just a wee bit of fear of my youngest child and what type of reptile/amphibian/fish/insect/arachnid might arrive in my kitchen in retribution), I'm fist pumpin' off to the grocery store to buy some candy corn.

Post Edit: I forgot the candy corn at the grocery store (but was promptly instructed to get some after school... I obliged. Then, I ate a candy corn. It tasted just like wax mixed with dried up frosting. Also, it turns out none of the kids got permission from their parents to go to the haunted house this Friday and once I saw the $17 price tag I rescinded my (nervous) permission, too. Let's face it, that's a lot of money to spend for the privilege of soiling one's pants. So, now it looks like they'll be going out of hot cocoa and seeing a movie. Nice and tame...We'll save the big $$ and the big scares for the corn maze!