Money

Sparked by a particularly stressed-out post on the blog of our 20-something friend and expert kid-entertainer, Andy, I'm thinking about the state of the U.S. economy (a little) and personal financial responsibility (a lot).

I should start by saying that I am in no way, shape, or form a financial wizard. I tend to avoid watching the news and am as likely to read a money magazine as I am to read an issue of Tiger Beat or Miley Cyrus' autobiography. I quickly glaze over when the subject of the U.S. economy comes up -- not because I have something any more important or interesting to think about -- because I find the entire subject to be more Emerald City than logical enterprise. The idealistic among us would say that it is this opinion that has let things get so absurdly out-of-control. I argue that I, as an individual, have very little impact on the greater financial machine and my energy is better-spent keeping my personal finances in order.

My parents (damn, you guys have been right a lot lately... annoying!) and my husband are all naturally fiscally conservative (with the possible exceptions of infrared saunas and various wellness treatments for the former and bicycles for the latter). I, too, am not terribly quick to let go of a dollar but I have a few exceptions to my conservative nature. I firmly believe that money is currency. It isn't a thing. It doesn't buy happiness. What money does do is give us options. I believe in spending money to nurture dreams, education, and strong relationships. I tend not to donate money to large causes or organizations. I fear that bureaucracy and overhead will eat most of it while the people those dollars are intended to help continue to go hungry. Someone whose life is likely to be dramatically improved by my $100 is welcome to have it. Luckily, K and I have been able to strike a balance between his conservatism and my desire (thanks, Grandma C) to be generous.

Some things are pretty much set in stone, however. We don't carry credit card debt. We try to avoid consumer debt at all costs and when we do make a large purchase (such as a car), we pay it off as quickly as possible. We live well within our means and, as a result, do not have many of the luxuries that many other people in our tax bracket enjoy. Despite the theory that we would be better off investing than paying off our low-interest mortgage, we make automatic additional principle payments to assure that our house will be ours by 2019.

We don't do everything right. We don't fully-fund IRAs every year. Our emergency fund isn't always as fat as it should be. We sometimes allow wants to masquerade as needs. We don't have tens of thousands of dollars set aside for our kids' education expenses. A long-term major medical crisis could be financially devastating. Our entire plumbing system could go south and require a costly repair (oh, wait, that already happened...). We could freak out and live in fear of those possibilities or we can stay the course.

We're extremely fortunate (thank you, college educations, helpful family members, steady employment, and solid marriage) to not be dealing with issues of basic survival. The rules change when the outlook is dire. Do what you can to avoid being in that situation. There's nothing like the young kids+medical bills+low earning potential+divorce quadruple whammy to destroy a long-term financial picture along with long-term happiness. There are plenty of seemingly non-money decisions that can make our break family finances. Marry someone you love and continue to love (or, during the rough times, tolerate) the person you married. Don't have kids until you're ready, and then expect it to take three to five years after that to actually adjust to having them around. Enjoy the adventures of your youth but don't mortgage your future to do it. Learn to love the simple things in life. Get some self esteem - stat! Learn to cook. Give up on fashion. It is as likely to make you look like a complete tool as it is to make you more appealing. Buy things used. Don't buy things for which you have no immediate need or substantial want and when you do buy, buy quality (something almost completely unrelated to price, by the way). Learn to sacrifice. There is nothing more satisfying than earning something. Don't rob yourself or your children of that experience.

Our financial tactics aren't going to make us overnight millionaires. We've probably missed out on as many big gains as we have big losses. We aren't bulletproof. I'll never own a "status bag". K's midlife crisis transportation purchase has 2 wheels, not 4. But, do you know what's happened over the last few years? Without changing a thing, our financial "status" has been elevated by virtue of not going down with the banking ship.