By golly, an MRI beats a vacation at the beach anyday...

Please, share the delusion with me. You see, we have lame insurance. That means the MRI, a couple of x-rays, and a few minutes with a slightly miffed-looking doctor of all things ouchy back related will total an out-of-pocket expense that could have funded a nice trip to the beach. Therefore, here are the reasons why an MRI is better than the beach:

1. Who needs the soothing crash of ocean waves when you could be soothed by the endless "bonk!" and "clack, clack, clack" of the MRI machine?

2. While at the beach, I've never had a reasonably good-looking guy in scrubs look deeply into my eyes and tell me to take off my bra and any piercings or metallic objects not currently visible so we can "get started".

3. I hear people pay big money to get squooshed into sensory deprivation chambers and practice their "yoga breathing" (to avoid freaking the "f" out!).

4. No pesky sand between the toes.

5. No seagulls to steal my Fritos.

That's it... all I can think of. All sarcasm aside (which leaves very little of myself remaining, by the way), I'm looking forward to sorting all of this out, getting some cortisone shots, starting physical therapy, and getting back to my quest for physical perfection (and by "perfection" I mean belly not hanging over the top of my size 14's - I'm a realist).

It's hard to get too bummed out when you have these guys sitting at your feet:

and this guy cracking you up on his way out the door to get his butt kicked on an after-dark mountain bike ride (5 words that, in my opinion, do NOT belong together):