And no, this isn't one of those sappy stories about loving each other in spite of a new layer of fat around the middle, receding hairline, or the stress of raising children. It is a deeply honest and brave story of how to go through life without taking on the pain of others as our own and, quite frankly, how to support a spouse who is being an ass with an eye to the fact that he or she has not always been that way.
Read it here. Although this is a story of a husband who has lost his way, it could just as easily apply in reverse.
Before you get the idea that K and I are at some kind of dreadful marital crossroads, let me assure you that we aren't. In many ways, we are happier than we have ever been. We are, however, mid-life-ish and year-by-year trying to renegotiate our lives to meet the ever-changing needs of our family and ourselves. I don't think I have felt this flighty (what? I quit the job that I swore only months ago was essential to my happiness?) or uncertain since I was a teenager. I could get down on myself (and believe me, I do) but instead I prefer to see this as our opportunity to reevaluate our goals and needs for the next phase in our lives.
Good luck to us all.
On a completely different note: I took the kids to see Aliens in the Attic last night and although it was borderline mind-numbing, their belly laughs, chuckles, chortles, and rapt attention lead me to give it a hearty two thumbs up.
Holy shit, Robin, that is a great article. The ending is the most enlightening. I'll probably re-read it several times in the next few weeks. It makes a lot of sense. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you got something out of it too. It's amazing how easily we grow old and how completely difficult it is to grow up. I've still got so much work to do and I feel really fortunate to have friends (like you!) to share the journey.
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