Why I like Senior Citizens

I have a real affinity for the old folks. It isn't because they're the only people I can beat in a foot race (except for this class of 75+ uber-runners who put me squarely in my place anytime I've thought I might actually be a for reals runner) - it's because so many of them have retired their verbal filter. They say what they think and what they think may actually have some weight to it since they've had a lifetime to form their opinions. Sure, it isn't quite as entertaining when their own personal brand of truth is directed at you -- but we all might learn a little something about ourselves by listening.

Our former neighbors and resident purveyors of "old folks philosophy" - Warren and Alberta - always had their share of advice and (heavily repeated - damn you, Alzheimer's!) moral stories. They taught me that old women are still proud of their boobs and like to show them to unsuspecting neighbors to illustrate their breast biopsy procedure. I learned that you don't mess with an old man's bird seed recipe. It was they who taught me all about how attached people become to their possessions, especially when there were times when people had nothing. Through our family's relationship with them, I learned just how much a brief visit and a loaf of bread or a peach cobbler can mean to people who spend 24/7 at home with just each other to talk to.

So, ma'am, if you're 75+ and want to stop by for tea, I'd love to talk gardening, "the kids these days", best Apple Brown Betty (nutmeg's a must!) recipes, and yes, you're right, my floor would be a whole lot cleaner if I got down on my hands and knees and scrubbed it the old-fashioned way (not gonna happen). And sir, if you want to stop by, I would love to soak in your profanity-laced banter and hear you pour your heart out about how you wish you would have appreciated your kids and your wife when you had the chance.

Tell me to get over it. I'll listen.

In that vein, check out this Twitter stream I found via kirtsy. It's called sh*tmydadsays and it's hilarious (and occasionally profound).